so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I have feelings that need drinking.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
