using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
