brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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