why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
