you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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