at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize