She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
