Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Randomize