I'm really into asian looking animals
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
