Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
