I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
