also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
