Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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