dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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