Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
