Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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