dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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