i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
