I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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