what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
