Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
