I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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