I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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