So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
