i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
