In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
