well you can't waste a boner
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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