hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
did i just pee glitter
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
