Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
