I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize