Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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