dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
