Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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