i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
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