i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
