Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
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