What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
