nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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