Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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