Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Shame - the story of my life.
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