Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
