I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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