we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
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