There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
