i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
