I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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