Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Randomize
