...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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