I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My butt remains clenched, sir.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
