Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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