I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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