If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize