I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
