They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
