..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize