Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
