Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
