I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
