He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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