Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
