Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I could make wine with my vomit
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize