I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
